Saturday, 4 December 2010

That magic pill

    I've heard this more than once over time: "If you were given a magic pill that turned you into a genetic female, would you take it no matter the consequences?". I believe it's supposed to be some kind of test of how trans-whatever you are, if you wouldn't jump at it then you can't really be very serious about all this.
    If my doctor proffered such a pill, I'd be hellishly tempted. But I wouldn't take it there and then, not without my wife being on-side. When the consequences affect someone I care that much about, I just can't. Not without one hell of a fight.

    Obvious trans-lightweight me, not serious about it at all.

    If my doctor produced a pill that did the opposite, "Take this risk-free pill and it'll give you a bloke brain, make you a bloke, and happy to be so!", I'd take it without hesitation. Make it all go away, fit snugly into the life I already have? You bet! Not because now I want to be a bloke, or am particularly happy trying to be a bloke, but because to be rendered content with the excessively bloke-suitable physical lot I've been landed with would make both my life and that of those around me so much easier.

    Unfortunately Harry Potter does not work in my doctor's dispensary. All he can give me is antidepressants, sleeping pills and something that might or might not stop my hair falling out. And very fortunately for us, all but the insane fringe of the medical profession learned years ago that trying to change GD sufferers to fit something their brains were not made for just doesn't work.

    But in a make-believe world of magic pills, I'd still go for that last one. My commenter from a few posts ago would take that as conclusive proof of her assesment of me, but I don't care. For me the most important desire in all this is to simply make it all go away.

8 comments:

  1. The thing about this Jenny is that should either pill be available and you decide to take one of them I am supposing that all the feelings for being the opposite gender would simply disappear anyway, wouldn't they? Then you wouldn't feel the urge or necessity to be anything other than male (or female). I would certainly have jumped at the opportunity to take such a pill knowing what I know now of course. It would have saved me a few shillings too! LOL

    Shirley Anne xxx

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  2. I wonder if there's a generic alternative pill. Cheaper, not quite as effective at the dosage presented, but providing the same outcome. You can bet the NHS would recommend it!

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  3. Hmm.. This is one that I have heard a few times and I don't think I could take either pill at the moment.

    The female pill has the issues that you point out. Mrs Stace.

    The other pill has different issues. I am who I am. I am who I am *becuase* of my GD. I have had the experiences in life (both good and bad) becuase of who I am. If I took that pill I would lose I would lose my personality. I just couldn't do that...

    Stace

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  4. Never would I have taken the boy pill! The hellish suffering was better than being turned into a boy! There is nothing in that role which would give me a moments joy though I suppose shifting today's snow would have been a lot easier.

    Caroline xxx

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  5. I think I wouldn't take such a pill if it changed who I have been. I am who I am in part because of GD.

    I guess the post was a thought from a difficult day wishing it would all go away.

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  6. Wishing it all would just "go away" resonates deeply with me.

    I don't think the pill one option measures the depth of trans-ness. I'd certainly turn it down. I couldn't be a happy person knowing I left a trail of devastation in my wake.

    Pill two option not sure. It would have to also make me forget my history and I wouldn't want to do that because it holds the key to understanding what has made me who I am.

    I'd take a "my gender and a matching genetic body and everyone likes the consequences" pill.

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  7. Yep, I'd take that pill. I have often had that thought.

    Early on, I had convinced myself, after being around my CD friends, that it was a gift. Not so. It is a curse and a pill to fix it would be welcomed by me.

    Calie xxx

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  8. I can only echo that sentiment.

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