Thursday, 17 March 2011

Ready

    I'm ready.
    I could go out tomorrow as Jenny, in a town about an hour's drive away with my friend Jae, just a couple of rather tall ladies out shopping on a spring day.
    I've overcome the fear of my height ruining my chances, I've perfected as good a female presentation as I reasonably can and I've been out quite happily with my support group more times than I can individually remember. Going out holds no fear for me.
    Hell yeah, I'm ready.
    So when am I going to do it then? This week? Next week? Next month perhaps. Tell you what, I'll get back to you on that one.
    Crazy isn't it. Having put so much effort into becoming ready, I find I suddenly don't feel ready at all. Don't worry, I will in time, I'm not writing this searching for support but merely in amusement at my sudden indecision.
    My medication has got on top of me this week so I'm on an evening without it. Whether my next post arrives early next morning will tell you whether I consequently didn't sleep well, however the 2009 pressing cider I've just enjoyed as another consequence of having no medication for it to mess with was certainly worth it.

7 comments:

  1. I didn't feel "ready" the first time went out. It was more, "you know, at some point you have to do this. So suck it up."

    That doesn't work for everyone, though. :) Hopefully when you are ready and you do finally get to go, you'll find that it wasn't as much to be concerned about as you had thought.

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  2. ah, human emotions, why so conflicting? hope to read about an outing soon... meanwhile, enjoy that cider!

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  3. Procrastination is the thief of time Jenny. However, you must do things as and when you feel right about them. If there is any doubt, hold back. I'm sure you'll get the timing right.
    Personally, I couldn't wait to get out and do it! Ah, but that is me.
    Love

    Shirley Anne xxx

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  4. This cider that you write of Jenny, is it 'hard cider', like with alchohol content?

    If you're anything like me when you do finally go out, you'll find that there was no need for all the worry.

    Hugs, Elly

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  5. Yes, I should just pull myself together and go for it, shouldn't I. Just like going out to the restaurant with my support group, grab it and run with it. I have enjoyed those outings hugely so I'm sure I'd enjoy a shopping trip in daylight hours.

    @Elly: Yes, it's alcoholic cider. We Brits call that cider, what you call cider we call apple juice. More info: http://jennyalto.blogspot.com/2010/07/cornucopia.html, http://jennyalto.blogspot.com/2010/10/pressing-business.html and http://jennyalto.blogspot.com/2010/10/more-pressing-business.html

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  6. I'm ready and I can look OK. Will I? No desire to at this point. If it's not corrected underneath, why bother?

    As for you, Jenny, go for it if that helps.

    Calie xxx

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  7. If you see what I mean, it's an unscratched itch. I *need* to express the girl somehow or go potty. However I am extremely anxious not to rush it.

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