Monday, 5 May 2014

Only me

     Well here it is, the post I didn't want to write. One of the reasons I've been a little out of sight for the last few weeks or months, along with work.
    My wife and I are now living apart. In a very amicable manner and without friction, but that's it. In the end it was a stress thing, she found the idea of my going out in the world and the worry of how people might react to me to be too much. We both tried so hard over the years.
    No house, no kids, not even a dog to argue over who gets which end. (She suggested she'd have had the rear, poop is easy to clean up while dog food costs money)
    There are so many things I haven't done over the last few weeks. Guess I need to ease myself back into life.


  1. So sorry to hear this, but glad that it is at least amicable.

    You have my address is you want an ear.


  2. Sadly, there are very few wives who can live with the changes that we go through. At least your split is amicable as I know only too well the additional strain when it is not.

  3. I am sorry to hear this, you do have my sympathy, this is really tough, after our break up I found many people would offer compassion, but only one recognised that I needed a time of morning for the loss of my marriage. I haven't worked out yet how long this will take for me, but I have also recognised the need to start to build a life, whatever that might mean.

  4. I'll add my heartfelt empathy too, having survived a similar parting. Look for the silver lining. There's always one to cling to. Even if it's only much more freedom to organise your life as you please, and see people you know just when you want to.


  5. Having met her and seen how comfortable she has been with others going through the same process this is such a shame. We know how long and hard you fought to try and make it work, just happy that you have been able to type in amicable to the parting.

    Marriage break ups like Paula said can be similar to having to mourn, sometimes harder because there is no absolute finality as I know from watching a close friend suffer.

    Dogs, the food can be as smelly as the stuff coming out the rear...

  6. As all the others I am so sorry to hear this Jenny. I hope you can maintain a friendship at the very least. I have every simpathy for you and your wife too at this difficult time.

    Shirley Anne x

  7. Such a tragedy that the ones who've known, and sometimes loved, us longest are the ones most affected by what they see as major changes.
    Don't know how far you've already discovered how post-hormonal depression is something of a different beast - take the very best of care.

  8. Posts like this one are the posts that bring tears to my eyes. My heart is with both of you. I owe you an email Will write soon.

  9. Wishing you a time of healing from what must have been a struggle I am familiar with, trying to avoid creating more stress in a loved one's life.

  10. Hi Jenny,

    I'm sorry to read this. You both have worked so hard on making it work. Much harder than a lot of non-trans couple I have known in the past. I hope that all works out positively in the end somehow and that your loving friendship keeps it all amicable. If you ever need an extra shoulder to cry on or vent to, I am here.

    Karin from across the Pond.

  11. Sorry to hear, but there is life after. Be strong.



  12. Ahhh Jenny...... I very well know the struggle you've been going through, so similar to my own. You have my sympathy and prayers. Amicable or not, I am certain you would have preferred a different outcome. Going down this path we all know it might very well jeopardize all relationships. We hope it never happens but it can be so very difficult for a life partner to share our transition. I sincerely hope for the best for you.
    Take care,

  13. Thanks all. A few weeks later and it's settled down. We've done all the movings and have the odd dinner together. Wish it wasn't this way, but what can I say. At least we tried.

    1. Happy to learn that things have settled somewhat for you Jenny. I hope it remains that way and that you can look forward to brighter times. I hope also that you and your partner can have a continuing amicable friendship. Best wishes

      Shirley Anne x