A friend of mine has a date with a surgeon next week, down in Brighton. Not that surgeon, because my friend is having his top surgery. And I'm giving him a lift down there because I have a car and the flexibility of a self-employed person, and he doesn't.
In a way that particular trip will be a little challenging. Not because the M25 is a particularly scary road or because Brighton is a difficult place to drive around. Or even because the Rollerskate's engine met its end there. No, it's because it's that hospital, the one where as well as FtMs getting their top surgery a significant number of UK MtF people including quite a few friends go to get their GRS done.
I have never been speed transitioner. I've met people who see GRS as the Only Thing That Makes Them A Woman, and in some cases ignore the other far more important aspects of transition to their ultimate detriment. I have another acquaintance who had her GRS in the last month or two at the earliest possible opportunity for instance, over whom I have serious concerns about the competence of the psychiatrists who signed her off for the procedure because I don't think her Real Life Test has been as real as it should have.
Instead I have always reserved an open mind about the procedure. It's always been something I can only qualify for at some time in the distant future, so I've concentrated instead on getting on with the job in hand. Living the life and all that, why make any decisions now. In my mind better slow and right than quick and wrong.
So back to next week. And next year, and the year after that. What was something I'd safely be asked about in the far distant future has become something a bit closer. I'm not quite sure I'm ready for that.
Regarding those rushing into GRS, I couldn't agree more. While, for me, it's something that I think about every day - no exaggeration here - and I do feel it would be right for me if other circumstances allowed it, I know a few who probably should have waited before having the procedure because their lives are now miserable. I do think it's too easy to "fool" someone who has a "professional certification" who has not specialized in gender dysphoria. I do think that those making the decisions should have been there and done that because I really think that only someone who is trans can truly understand someone who is trans.
ReplyDeleteI do agree that there is a lot to be said for taking it slow. I have some friends who are fully focused on surgery, a couple who don't seem to have thought beyond that. Me, I'm trying hard to just focus on the next decision, take it one stage at a time
ReplyDeleteBack home now. And friend texts me to tell me it's done. Fortunately in the event I didn't have to go to the hospital itself, instead I dropped him off with a friend the night before, and had an enjoyable evening with a couple of my friends down at that end of the country.
ReplyDeleteI think that horizon getting closer will occupy my thoughts a lot more over the coming years or months. Whether or not I take that step.
There's someone I know in another sphere who's announced she wants to transition very fast. Is it wrong of me to be concerned for her because she's a very over-the-top weekend princess whose trans experience consists of wearing clothing that'd make a 16 year old blink, and picking up men in gay bars? I hope not, I'm afraid she'll fall on her face.