Sunday, 30 January 2011

One more lap

    My day today was spent in the winter sun and cold fresh air of my parents orchard, pruning apple trees. Pruning being a restful occupation I had plenty of time to think. Last night my wife and I attended a restaurant outing of about forty t-girls, a friendly and boisterous gathering that left me as always a bit down this morning, having been my normal oversized scruffy bloke for the occasion.
    Give or take a couple of days, it's a year since I had the Long Chat with my doctor. I think I'm in a significantly better condition than I was then and I've come a long way, but I have also remained stuck firmly in the same place. Winter has arrived and with it has come my sleep problems, girl fog and all its accompanying joys. Medication controls it this time, but at the cost of leaving me significantly below par. Only ten posts so far this month, if that doesn't indicate a lowered brain capacity I don't know what does!
    So when I finally reach the GIC it'll be about eighteen months since that chat last year. I'm told that's about average so I've got little to complain about, but I can't shake the worry that they'll have little to offer me. When I last saw my psychiatrist I addressed that to him and he reminded me that while it may be true, at least I'll be seeing the experts, people with the most experience in the matter.
     This time next year when I've completed another lap of this circuit as the 25000 metre long distance runner I'll no doubt have watched a few more of the sprinters break the tapes and leave the stadium.
     I'll still be running.


  1. Hardly going to cheer you up but it is almost exactly 40 years to the day since I realised I would never get any help for a condition which was easily treated. how many have sprinted past me in that time?

    Caroline xxx

  2. Hi Jenny,

    I know what you mean, I get very jealous of other girls who seem to have a faster and smoother journey.

    It does feel like the Bataan Death March at times....

    Thinking of you.



  3. The thing is Jenny, do you just feel that you are running a race or do you feel you are heading for a finishing line?

    Shirley Anne xxx

  4. Thanks all, just pay me no mind. Sometimes it gets to me :)

    I think running up a down escalator might be a better description.

  5. Jenny

    I don't know if this will cheer you up or not but at least you know roughly which direction you are headed, unlike some of us who are still meandering aimlessly through the gender jungle.

  6. Crumbs, and I thought I was going slow with a gap of 7 months between seeing my GP and my first visit to the GIC. I promise to stop complaining immediately.

    May I presume that Exeter is too far away for you? In these days of consumer choice, and with GPs soon to be given control of their budgets, it might be a better place if you could get there.

    Angie xx

  7. I'm not sure I do know which direction I'm going in, sometimes it does feel rather aimless. Yes I'm going to the GIC, but TBH I have little expectation that they'll be able to offer me much.

    Exeter GIC, it does seem that the queues are a little shorter down there but it's a bit of a distance. I'm not wild at the idea of an hour's train ride into London but I think the long drive southwest might be worse.

    The GIC system is not without its faults, I'm sure entire books could be written by their disgruntled customers, as to be fair could be by their happy customers. But as I see it the distance aspect really needs to be examined. Different areas contract with different GICs and people end up making crazy journeys to places like Charing Cross when other GICs are closer, simply because that's where their PCT sends trans people.

    I wonder how many of us have to come out of the woodwork and how overloaded the GICs have to become before they restructure the service to offer it on a more local basis.

  8. It would be nearly an hour's travel for me before I even got to a train station for a trip to London GIC. Can they help me there though is what I want to know too.

  9. I've heard of people on benefits being able to claim back travel costs, but I wouldn't venture to know how.