Sunday, 15 August 2010

Ain't never gonna be like that

    I find myself rather sad today. For once not for the girl I never had the chance to grow up as, nor the woman I might be but am not, but for the bloke I've never successfully managed to be. I thought I had the whole bloke thing sorted, but can't honestly stick to that line any more, can I.
    Yesterday in Swindon it rained. A lot. A "Free hugs" lady passed us while my wife was elsewhere and delivered on the promise on her t-shirt to my two companions, but passed me by. This amused me, for some unaccountable reason.


  1. Ya should have spoken up and demanded a hug from her anyway.

    It might have been for the best that you didn't dress for Pride as it rained so hard. The 'wet' look might not have been the most flattering on you!! Your time will come. Believe!!!


  2. no such thing as a free hug, eh? I wondered how you'd got on there. I passed Swindon 24 hours too early to join in, sadly.

  3. I love free hugs, and I'd have been like, "None for me?". :D Here's one from the other side of the Pond, and I wish I could give you one for real.

  4. A hug is nice if it is honestly meant otherwise why bother.

    Caroline xxx

  5. I wasn't too bothered at my unhugged state or that it was insincere, it was the way she blanked the ugly bloke for the two trans women that amused me.

    TBH I'm not very good at hugs. It's a British thing probably, we don't do them in the same way as the French. My wife laughs at me for this. Plus anyone hugging me is more likely to be doing so at the wrong level IYSWIM, unless I stoop down.

    @Jaye; thanks :)

    @Dru: You honestly didn't miss much in all that rain. We repaired to a very nice tapas bar to dry out, and ate very nice freshly baked bread with olives.

  6. re: mourning the failed bloke.

    That's the side of the trans issue I worry gets too little attention. People assume that if you simply don't transition that your problem is solved. Nonsense. It makes other people more comfortable by compounding the trans person's misery.

    It's easy for men to live as men because - they're men. Asking a trans woman to live as a man is asking her to play a role that's unnatural and disturbing to her. Very, very difficult to feel like a success when you have to live like that all the time.

    I wish you luck in finding the support you need!

  7. Well here is a big free hug from me!


  8. Yes us big girls do have height problems when hugging even before factoring in the Britishness.

    Caroline xxx

  9. @Diana: Thanks, I love it when I infect the speech of an American with a British colloquialism! :)

    I've definitely received the "If you don't transition... " line from non-trans people. Though when the joys of GD are explained to them they so far have got it.

    I'm not bothered about "other" people in that context, I'm simply bothered about Mrs. J. She matters enough for me to give it all I've got.

    I know I couldn't manage it if I was expected to live in the closet as so many in my position try to do, hence being a bloke on the outside who's "out". If I can't feel a success at the bloke thing then redefining what I need to be a success at makes sense.

    @Lisa: Thanks, I should complain about this more often!

    @Caroline: I should carry a stool around with me.

  10. Didn't notice they missed you out, thought they were going along the row. *Sends a group hug.*