"We can tell that there 's something more, what is it? We need to know!".
My mother caught me as I returned from my usual Sunday-at-my-parents dog walking. She was weeding her flower bed in the sun, I was sitting on an upturned bucket. I dodged the issue: "It's nothing serious, you don't need to worry". She was unimpressed, and told me so. The dog let out one of those wonderfully expressive bored doggy sighs, and lay down in a patch of sun.
I got up and wandered down the field to find a patch of mobile phone signal to ring my wife at her work. She suggested it was time, I'd better tell my mother.
I think I got her really worried when I said "I'm afraid this is probably going to upset you, I think you'd better come inside and sit down". So when I told her I think it was a relief for her. She'd expected some serious mental illness or something. Unexpectedly it wasn't upsetting for her and she was immediately understanding. It turned out her childhood friend's son-in-law transitioned a few years ago and he is still in touch with her even though her marriage to his daughter broke up, and my mother heard all this second hand so surprisingly was aware of all the issues. Wow.
The biggest surprise to me was that my mother had no idea. I was certain she was aware of my childhood crossdressing but either she's forgotten or she genuinely didn't know. She did remark that she's always thought I had feminine mannerisms though. Blimey, is it that obvious to everyone?
So, we had the Very Long Chat. I got no work done on my car yesterday afternoon. I told her the state of play, how I'm dealing with all this and where it's going. I didn't go into detail on the crossdressing front, best not to overload her with too much. Most touchingly I could see she was trying to talk to me as a daughter. I almost cried.
She's going to have a word with my dad about it this evening. Give him a day or two to digest it before I see him again. I doubt he'll be difficult about it but it's got to be a shock to him.
To think, I've tied myself in knots with dread abut this for years. And it was all OK in a summer afternoon chat.
Crazy, isn't it.