Thursday, 28 January 2010

So that's what sleep feels like

This morning's wake-up time was 1:30AM. After a day yesterday spent in that beyond tiredness state of dysfunctional stumbling followed by a drive home from work spent in terror of drifting away on a crowded dual carriageway, 1:30AM this morning was crunch time. No way we could let that happen again.  So on my wife's advice, off to the hifi for the guided body scan meditation CD from my depressive days. Half an hour lying in the dark concentrating on breathing into your left calf muscles and big toe is wonderfully calming, but as the CD ended I still wasn't asleep. Looking forward to yet another night counting the chimes from the church clock up the road, I found myself rudely awoken by my wife's alarm clock. I don't know exactly how much sleep I got in last night, but it must have been somewhere around seven hours. Have I cracked it? Hope so.

I'm off to see the doc this afternoon. Hope I don't have to explain exactly why I'm a bit insomniac at the moment, I'm not quite ready for that.


  1. Hi again it's me Helen, I have been reading your posts over the last week or so and just wanted to say that I'm sorry you are going through this down turn emotionally just now. I have not suffered rom depression personally but I have a member of my family who has stuggled for as long as I can remember. All the things you have mentioned ring loud bells in my memory of living close to my Aunt. Tiredness and lethargy was very common, the word's 'I'm just so tired' seem to punctuate all her conversations to me.

    Anyhow I hope that the sleep you got last night will be the beginning of a let up in your insomnia and worry. I also hope the visit to the doctor later will be helpful.

    Take care and keep in touch
    Helen xx

  2. Hi Helen, The crazy thing is that the depression's not rearing its head this cycle so it's not quite a downturn as such, I'm still grinning like a nutter. Just a very very tired nutter. Thanks for coming back to me, it's always good to talk.

  3. So pleased you managed to got some sleep at last. Maybe the CD worked better than you thought :)