Sitting on the sofa writing this I have a chance to think ahead. Today's going to be a busy day, the black sheep of my family will be visiting my parents so I'll need to make the trip in their place to be on hand in case any disaster-aversion is required, and my wife and I will be going out to a restaurant in my home town with a group of semi-local t-girls.
The former may be stressful but is nothing I haven't dealt with before. You can pick your friends, but you can't pick your relatives. The latter I'm looking forward to but I'm aware it's putting my wife into a situation that's new for her. She's been out with the Swindon support group, but never in our home town. I have confidence that the evening will be enjoyable for both of us but I'm also acutely aware that I'm coming close to the edge of her comfort zone with this, even though I'll be present only as bloke.
If you've read my previous posts on the subject of my wife you'll know that someone in my position probably couldn't expect more tolerance from their spouse than mine gives me. Yet I'm aware that her accompaniment of me is for her to remain in control of what's happening by being there as much as it is for her to enjoy the outing. I welcome this, if she feels in control of events then she's happier, and since she's placed very few restrictions on me that aren't entirely reasonable for someone in her position I can hardly complain. But I'm concerned, I don't want the having to be there to retain control to eclipse the being there to have fun and ruin her evening.
All this concern should be misplaced of course. We'll go out with a lovely group of ladies, half of whom she's met before, and we'll have fun. She'll make a bunch of new friends, they'll make a new friend. It's happened that way exactly in Swindon, why shouldn't it do the same here? I hope my concerns are misplaced.
I know the problems the black sheep can cause... Though when it kicks off in my family I just do what I did throughout my teenage years and dissapear... Getting between two people of very similar personalities is not a place I plan to be.
ReplyDeleteEnjoy the meal later!
Stace
I wish I could disappear in this case. I may have gone grey by 6 o'clock this evening.
ReplyDeleteFortunately, your wife is comfortable enough with your T-friends to be seen out in public with them. Here's hoping you have an enjoyable night out.
ReplyDeleteMelissa XX
Its very positive that your wife is joining you. It will help her understanding in her own adjustment.
ReplyDeleteI know my wife found it really useful.
I hope you have a great time.
x
Thanks both! Last night went very well and she enjoyed it. I knew she would, but I know just as much that I was pushing against her comfort zone beforehand.
ReplyDelete