Thursday, 29 April 2010


   My wife thinks it's very funny. I obsess too much about my appearance.
Only I really don't.  I'm too damn scruffy for my own good. As a bloke, that is. She's amused because I'm obsessing about my appearance as a girl. This isn't what you might expect, it's not obsessing about whether I look girly enough, whether I pass. Hell, I know I'd struggle to pass in a room full of blind people, no, this is different. I really don't care how I look as a bloke so I dress like a slob, but I seem somewhere along the way to have acquired the obsessive nature of a teenage girl when it comes to my female presentation. In short, since I came out to my wife and began crossdressing as an adult I care about how I look, almost for the first time in my life. Which, as someone who didn't care in the slightest how they looked for over three decades, I find funny too.
    The saddest part of this is, that as a scruffy bloke, I make a better bloke than I would if I made an effort at it. Being large and fit, faded jeans and a well-used t-shirt bearing the logo of the NHL's finest sit well upon me, far better than suits and ties do. Telling someone you're transgendered when you look like this causes a double-take of epic proportions. It's more than a little unfair that a girl who makes as little effort with her appearance as I do would be pilloried by her peers while I can blend in as one of the lads.


  1. You're in good company, or at least company. Roberta Cowell described how she took pains to appear 'revoltingly scruffy' in her man days. And someone once unkindly described me as the most expensively-dressed tramp she knew. I liked her too. Not. But is there a pattern emerging?

  2. It is amazing how we are much more focused on how we look as we explore our female side.

  3. I have always wondered what is the point in trying to look good as a bloke, I will still look like a bloke at the end of it - Yuk!

    You know what you should look like, so you make an effort when you can. You become very self critical too, it is not until you get out and about that you realise that you have actually achieved something worthwhile. What appears important to you is often not noticed by others.

    Suzie x

  4. I try not to look scruffy in bloke mode - I'm well known for being vain; but I do take more care in Stace mode. Mrs Stace has commented on it.

    Oodly enough though bloke to Stace still only takes 10-15 mins... Maybe that's due to the vanity of bloke mode?


  5. Oh, yes. My few remaining items of boy gear live in a heap on the bedroom floor, replaced when necessary from the nearest charity shop. The girl stuff, meanwhile, lives on individual hangers and threatens to take over the place.

    Cat XX

  6. I have to admit to sometimes feeling guilty I don't make more effort to look better as a bloke though, for my wife's sake.

  7. I was at lunch with my good friend, Rebecca, the other day. She has completed her transition and is looking as hot as ever. She complemented me on how I look and, frankly, while not looking hot, I did look handsome, or so she said, but I would tend to agree.

    Anyway, the point here is that we both agreed that we always have looked as good as we could look, no matter what gender we are presenting as.

    Less I disappoint you, Jenny, I do have my scruffy moments and those times are usually on the weekends.

  8. I have become markedly less scruffy in male mode recently. I wear colorful, fitted clothes, with matched accessories. I take much longer to choose clothes every day. Maybe I'm seen as metrosexual now? I prefer to look neat and presentable at all times. Vanity, thy name is ____.